Monday, 15 February 2016

Where does my heart lie?


Where the pohutukawa 
stands proud around the
beach.

Where the black-backed
seagulls casts shadows around
the ocean.

Where my feet sink
into the black velvet 
silky sand.

Where the waves scrum 
together, trying to eat 
the surfers.

Where my nana holds
my little light
soft hand.

Where does my heart
lie? Wherever my family is.

...............................................

I am learning to…..

I am learning to use some personification because I have no personification in my writing.

I am going well because I feel like I am starting
To connect more throughout my poem.


I think I am understanding more.

I think my next steps are to ask an expert who can help me a little bit for some critique so I can understand a bit more.

2 comments:

  1. Great poem Beth. I loved how you said the blacked back seagulls casting shadows across the ocean. I can build a picture in my mind with the seagull gliding across the ocean. I loved how you said waves trying to eat the the surfers. You better watch out for the man eating waves when you go to the beach. That ending that you did really connect your whole poem. I enjoyed reading it.
    Mana

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  2. I liked your poem as-specially when you side where the waves scrum together, trying to eat the surfers. Well done

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